I don’t like being on video. Let’s start with that.

When people see me and hear me talk, I share my life. There are reasons why I built this wall between myself and this outside world. I have worked on myself and found peace in being off the grid and in radio silence. I was ready to embrace anonymity. What kind of transformation do I have to go through for me to turn this great big wall into glass walls?

Social media is still a foreign territory that I’m not personally keen on navigating. Unbeknownst to many, I was a victim of cyberstalking and harassment a few years back. My public photos were used maliciously on dating sites and into fake accounts tagging family and colleagues; my emails and social media accounts barely survived endless hacking attempts, and it all happened overnight, right before my team and I launch this massive project. The attack was premeditated.

When the shock and grief had worn off, I consulted with our family’s lawyer and cybersecurity expert and learned that Philippine laws on these matters are not yet strong enough to fully protect me.

My career in the industry was just taking off, I was on a roll, but it was all taken away just because I became a threat to strangers I barely even knew. The threats followed me for months creating what seemed to be this irreparable damage to my mental health and some form of deep-seated fear that, as of this day, as of this writing, still lives in my head like a parasitic monster, a Goliath I didn’t expect to face and conquer when I joined CVAP.

Creative Voice Artist Program (CVAP) offers the most intensive training program for voice talents in the Philippines, and it also serves as an exclusive production company for its own graduates. A melting pot of top talents and artists on radio, TV, on stage, and on camera, it was deeply humbling for me to receive the warmest welcome. They made me feel like I’m already a solid part of this close-knit community.

CVAP introduced me to the impact of voiceovers in storytelling, sales, gaming, and learning. Voiceovers provide a more intimate look into the mind of a character. It gives personalities more depth. It provokes thought and emotion. It compels action. It aids with learning and crosses cultural boundaries. Voice matters as much as words.

The other day when I was looking for more inspiration, I came across this 2013 movie about the world of voiceovers called “In a world…”, and at the end, Lake Bell, who’s also a professional voice actor in real life, said “Women should sound like women, not like baby dolls who end everything in a question. Let’s make a statement.” That, to me, opened up a myriad of other realizations about society and success in life. Voice is power!

There was this one defining moment on our first training day that completely tugged my heartstrings, and

it was from the opening remarks of Ms. Nickie Esmero, CVAP’s program director. She said that whatever your story is, whatever it is that you went through, “...someone out there needs to hear your voice.” And just like that, I found my purpose. That feeling of finally finding the strength to conquer my fears when I think that I am doing this for somebody, anybody, who can look into my life and then look into their own horrors and say to themselves, “Everything’s going to be okay."

This may seem like a very small step, but this is a gargantuan leap of faith for me into the unknown. My name is Ray, and this is my voice.

The second day of training at CVAP was my favorite. Although not as in-depth as I wanted it to be, it did cover the technical skills that a voice artist should at least learn in order to provide quality outputs. I think this really laid out the foundation of what it takes to become a voice artist, and that is to produce quality sound, and producing quality sound means working on quality equipment, editing and enhancing, and exploring all the possible avenues that your voice can cater to. Are you concentrating on voiceovers, or can you do voice acting? Or can you do both? And which is your stronger suit?

My first impression when we were talking about audio equipment was that “There’s no going around it. I really must invest.” And at that time, I had no idea how to edit sounds, so there were jargons that were new to me. But that only spiked my interest because it’s a new skill that I will learn in life, and also, it would save me money if I can do things on my own instead of paying for people to do the job for me, which is something I’m used to doing. So, unless one has a budget for a whole production team or can build a hi-def home studio, then you really have to grind and do the work. For me, that’s always an admirable quality in a person, to be able to build something from scratch and use that raw God-given talent to the best of your abilities.

Another key takeaway for me during that session was when one of the directors jokingly said, “Ang mahihiyain, mamamatay!” I know it was hilarious, but it also served as a subtle warning, you know, that there’s no time for all kinds of hesitation because you have to respect the time that’s being done at that moment. And to me, as a writer and a storyteller in some way, I don’t have a background in voice acting or performing but what makes it easier for me to tell a story through a character’s point of view is knowing that all of this is bigger than you. You’re just an instrument to this whole message that needs to be delivered, you’re just one part of a greater whole, and you just need to do your job right, and everything else will be taken care of by the experts, so this message, this story, can be delivered. I believe this big respect for the arts should be instilled in one’s self, and that’s what makes one a true artist.

Day 3 was the easiest and the most chill, thank goodness. Because I was already drowning with pending work from weeks 1 and 2, I don’t have a Brand Name yet, and I still have to shoot some vlogs, and then I want to redo my Radio Ad samples, so you can just imagine the sense of urgency getting more and more amplified as days go by. Yeah, and not to mention, I have my day job and some more homework from Russian class.

Anyway, on a more positive note, I really enjoyed the experience of listening to PapaLem. He’s just so incredibly talented at doing voices on the spot, and with his wide range of experiences, I just felt more inspired. There’s so much substance in his message that every sentence counts.

The tongue twisters were also fun. I was best in tongue twisters in grade school, and I wonder if I can still do it now.

We did a few exercises that were so much fun that I wish I could have volunteered to recite any of those but it's still ironic for me that I still feel shy about raising my hand. Remember, "Ang mahiyain, mamamatay!"

And as far as character voices go, I’m still thinking about it. Right now, on my list, I was thinking of doing valley girl, Disney princess, Disney villain, a Russian spy, and that’s it. I ran out of ideas. I need one more. I want to do a Hentai voice buuut…it might get flagged as inappropriate by the admin. I know I was already cursing on my Horror monologue output.

Oh, and voice care. This is very important. I think it’s the universe reminding me that I really need to change my diet overall. I’m not getting any younger. I think I’m getting more hormonal, with breakouts happening more often, so I have to take care of myself. I’m turning 30 next year, big, big milestone. So yes, minimize everything until I can survive with a no-sugar and no-dairy diet.

This week will definitely test me for real. I’m looking forward to Friday, manifesting that I can finish everything by then.

Finally, our fourth and final day of training. Time flies by so fast. I couldn’t believe that I made all this progress in just a matter of weeks. It’s amazing to see the impact that a supportive community can make. I gained confidence, new friends, new skills, and opened a door to a whole new world of opportunities!

That morning we talked about building a resume, voice-over reels, red flags, and yellow flags to be wary of in the industry. For sure, it’s not going to be a rose garden. Here I really felt that things are getting real and we are already being equipped with the right tools and yes, weapons, to protect ourselves from people who will take advantage of us being the newest conscripts stepping out into the battlefield with a fiery passion still blazing inside all of us. Not everyone is going to make it.

But we are so fortunate to be under the guidance of such beautiful, talented, and generous people. Sir Pocholo really made sure that this culture will live on and I am grateful that we are in the right direction. Someday I hope to be one of those mentors guiding aspiring artists like me at present and giving back the inspiration that this community has ignited in me. I am thankful for my CVAP experience and looking forward to a brighter, bolder future with my voice as my power.

THANK YOU CVAP!

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